


sun of my right hand

by loosingletters



Series: a thousand possibilities [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Child Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader Redemption, Family, Fix-It, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Linear Narrative, Obi-Wan Kenobi Raises Luke Skywalker, Parent Obi-Wan Kenobi, and their relationship is really hard to put into / or & for me, i need a relationship tag that says anakin and obi-wan are soulmates, romantic or platonic - your choice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26090578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosingletters/pseuds/loosingletters
Summary: What remains, keep it close.Holding the newborn he had carried from one end of the galaxy to the other, Obi-Wan Kenobi could not bring himself to give up the last member of his family. Instead of giving Luke to the Lars, Obi-Wan decided to raise Luke himself.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Series: a thousand possibilities [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887079
Comments: 39
Kudos: 564





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am forever sad about the lack of Obi-Wan raising Luke fanfics.  
> Have fun!

“I lied to your father,” Obi-Wan admitted quietly.

Luke was crawling away on the floor, babbling and pointing at objects that flew to him easily. Obi-Wan never spent much time in the crèche, he didn’t know if he should discourage this behavior, already begin to teach Luke to reign in his ability.

Then again, Obi-Wan had never been good at denying Skywalkers anything.

“I said I loved him and I was lying.”

As if sensing the darkness closing in on Obi-Wan, Luke made his way to him. He patted Obi-Wan’s leg with his chubby little hands, a gesture meaning “pick me up!”

Luke settled comfortably on Obi-Wan’s lap, his head leaning against his chest. He was still babbling, he was bound to say his first word any day now. It would be a nice change of pace. Obi-Wan hadn’t had an actual conversation with someone for weeks.

“I still love him, I never stopped. Your father was so bright, just like you, and I can’t forget, can’t forgive, but-“

Obi-Wan couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, much like he couldn’t bring himself to leave Luke with his family. It had been selfish, but he just hadn’t been able to let go of the only tie to his past that he had left. He wasn’t sure where he’d be without Luke to look after, if he’d still be here at all.

_I love him_ , he thought. _I love him and it wasn’t enough_.

Luke’s hands traced over Obi-Wan’s cheeks, smearing away the tears.

“I know, I know,” Obi-Wan says, recalling Anakin’s words, spoken so many years ago, a lifetime it felt like. “Crying is a waste of water.”

The tears fell anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Luke was 100% sure that if – no, he’d make it – _when_ he came back, Obi-Wan Kenobi, High General of the Grand Army of the Republic would be waiting for him and absolutely ground Luke until he was as old as Master Yoda. Working with the Alliance had changed the man who had raised Luke in subtle ways no one but him seemed to pick up upon. He was out in the field, giving orders, always on the move, and didn’t stop to take a break. Luke’s earliest, and fondest, childhood memories were of him sitting in his father’s lap while he meditated. The sand had swirled around them, drawing fantastic patterns and Luke had been happy and at peace.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, not the Tatooine jeweler, the man Luke had called “Papa” for as long as he could remember, lacked both, happiness and peace, and if Luke didn’t change something, he’d _fall_.

Ben hadn’t asked Luke to kill him in case the dark side consumed him, but Luke wasn’t stupid. He had grown up knowing how to disappear from the Empire in a thousand different ways despite being utterly safe on Tatooine. Ben had assigned someone to take him out and Luke wouldn’t let them.

So, logically, the one way to help his father was to take the cause for his fall out of the equation.

Tracking down Darth Vader was ridiculously easy. Luke was almost insulted.

He’d only seen him out of the distance, the closest they had ever been was on the Death Star. Luke recalled stories of Anakin Skywalker, friend, Master, Jedi, father, and wondered how much of that was still hidden in a corner of Vader’s mind.

“He wanted you,” Ben had said so many years ago. “He loved you so much already.”

Luke hadn’t been able to understand it back then. All he knew was that his father was gone, that everything Luke would ever learn about Anakin would be pulled out of Ben’s stories. He’d entertained himself by imagining his father living together with him and Ben, fixing the speeder that broke down every other week and bringing home droid parts to repair. Those fantasy scenarios had pushed the anger away, the feeling of abandonment.

But now Luke knew. He had been wanted, so much that Darth Vader built an Empire of ashes as the tomb for the child he never got to meet.

“Kenobi’s Padawan… Have you come to challenge me, young one?” Vader rasped.

Luke scowled, fighting the itch to reach for his lightsaber. He hadn’t come here for a fight, well, at least not one against Vader, but holding onto his weapon had always calmed him down.

“I’m not Obi-Wan’s Padawan, I’m his _son_ ,” Luke replied.

The room temperature immediately seemed to drop by ten degrees as Vader’s fury lashed out. _Do not let him get to you_ , Luke thought. _He doesn’t know._

“And my name is Luke Skywalker,” Luke continued, his voice even and steady, not betraying him for once. “I’m here to bring you home.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Papa! C’mon, get up, get up!”

Patience, Ben had learned, was not something Luke would ever excel at. Or perhaps that was just the way ten-year-olds were. Always running around, getting up before the sunrise to drag sand all over your bedsheets.

“Papa, it’s time to go!”

Luke at ten looked startlingly similar to Anakin. His hair was the same golden color, his skin just as tanned and his eyes as blue as the sky above. Ben was still waiting for the moment he would call out to his son with the wrong name, but he had yet to trip. Perhaps it was because Luke had Padmé nose, cheekbones, and stubbornness, had a healthy weight due to the fact that he got three meals a day and didn’t act as demure and shy as Anakin.

His childish excitement, the rose-colored cheeks, and dragging Ben out of bed at all times were all Anakin though.

“Luke, we haven’t even eaten breakfast yet,” Ben groaned as he sat up in his bed.

He stretched and winced when he heard his bones crack. His joints ached from all the physical therapy they never got and Tatooine’s weather wasn’t kind to his weary bones.

“I made breakfast!” Luke said and took Ben’s hand.

He pulled Ben out of bed and to their dinner table upon which two bowls filled with grey mush and an orange sauce, as well as a teapot, sat.

“Did you use all the fruits?” Ben asked and sat down.

“No, we still got some, but we should go to the market. Aunty Beru said that Jabba made deals with some new smugglers so there’s lotta fruit to be bought. It’s expensive, though.”

Ben hummed and slowly emptied his bowl. Luke, of course, was already finished and dressed and all set up for their trip and now vibrating with energy. Ben poured himself another cup of tea and watched as Luke started chewing on the collar of his shirt. Ben gave it another minute before Luke would start talking again.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have told him beforehand that he was ready to get his own lightsaber. Ben had meditated many hours on whether he even should teach Luke lightsaber combat or just stick to hand-to-hand, but if Vader ever did find Luke… Ben couldn’t allow for a gap in Luke’s education.

“Luke,” Ben said and the ten-year-old immediately sat up straight. “Why don’t you go through your morning meditation while I clean the table and check the speeder? If we are to find your crystal today, you need to be calm.”

Luke dramatically got up from his chair, picking up one of his toy starfighter and plopped down on the ground just a few feet away from Ben. While Luke didn’t meditate like Ben had been taught to, he actually seemed to enjoy the exercise. Ben had disliked it at his age, and Anakin hadn’t been any better, but they usually also hadn’t been levitating toys around the room, or clung to their parent.

Thirty minutes later, Ben was done and Luke’s breathing had evened out. The sun still wasn’t up, but the planet wasn’t shrouded in total darkness anymore. The caves they needed to go to were in some distance and Ben would rather not run into any threats. He had packed his ‘saber anyway, and another blaster for Luke, you couldn’t ever be too careful, especially on Tatooine.

“Ready?” Ben asked and watched fondly as Luke nodded and got settled comfortably on their speeder, surpassing a yawn.

“I’m gonna be a real Jedi now,” Luke mumbled.

Ben smiled and kissed the top of Luke’s head.

“You already are.”


	4. Chapter 4

Raising a child turned out to be more expensive than Obi-Wan had first thought when he’d arrived on Tatooine. Of course, when he had first stepped on the desert planet, he had still expected to hand Luke over to his Aunt and Uncle. It had only been on the second night, spent in a terrible cheap inn, that he realized he couldn’t give Luke up. He’d bonded with this child and Obi-Wan, for all that he had tried to be the perfect Jedi, had never learned how to let go properly. He hadn’t been able to let go of Anakin’s child, the last remnant of his family.

Living out in the Jundland Wastes, Obi-Wan had become fairly self-sufficient. He had bought two vaporators to collect water for Luke and himself and had found some roots that were so persistent they even grew on a desert planet such as this one. But Luke was still a newborn who needed to be fed multiple times a day and grew with every passing week. He needed new clothes and baby food. Obi-Wan had brought some from Alderaan, enough for the transfer to Tatooine and to sustain Luke a little while longer should Owen and Beru have been unable to buy some fast enough.

But now Luke was Obi-Wan’s responsibility, and he was running out of credits. He needed to think of a new way to gain income. He wasn’t good enough a mechanic to work at the spaceport and he also had no plans to do so. Even on Tatooine they knew of General Kenobi, Jedi traitor. They wouldn’t be able to pick him out of a crowd but Obi-Wan knew he’d be better off avoiding interacting with spacers and smugglers.

“What do you think, Luke?” Obi-Wan asked the baby cooing on his bed.

Obi-Wan’s dwelling, a little hut that had been long abandoned, had come with only one bed that wasn’t doing his joints any favors. He didn’t have a crib for Luke and so had no other option but to sleep next to the baby. The nights got surprisingly cold and sharing body heat was the best way to keep one another warm. The first few nights Obi-Wan had been so scared to crush him in his sleep – he was so very small and frail – but by now he knew better. He’d awaken before that would happen if he slept at all.

“Should we go on a little adventure?”

Luke, of course, couldn’t reply, but he was shining so bright and happy in the Force, Obi-Wan decided to take it as a yes. The sun had not yet risen, but the planet was starting to warm up. Obi-Wan estimated that they had about two hours before the winds in the canyons would become a problem. He picked Luke up and strapped him to his chest, his head resting right above Obi-Wan’s heartbeat. He had carried him like this through all spaceports and ships until they’d made it to Tatooine. Luke was used to it by now and so was Obi-Wan. It was almost relaxing to feel his little heart beating in addition to his Force presence. Like this he was sure that Luke was alive, that not everything was lost.

Obi-Wan packed a bag for the two of them and walked out of the door, humming one tune or another. Luke resented silence, he’d always start fussing. It wasn’t like Obi-Wan had anyone to really talk to, so he had taken to singing. His voice wasn’t anything special, certainly not as nice as Anakin’s had been, but he could hold a tune.

He started the speeder and began to drive towards the canyons. He didn’t know where exactly he was heading, what the Force was trying to tell him, but he figured he should follow his old Master’s advice. When in doubt, trust in the Force, it will provide.

Time passed, the sky turned a light purple, then pink and orange. Obi-Wan kept on driving, stopping only once in a while to check on Luke, who had slowly dozed off. When the sun had almost risen completely, Obi-Wan decided to take another break as Luke stirred. He spotted some caves in a distance and decided their shadows would make a better resting place. He parked his speeder right in front of them and walked inside. As expected, the caves were quite cool.

“Not so bad for a boring planet, right?” Obi-Wan asked Luke. “This is certainly remote enough and not Tusken territory. Doubt the Jawas would come here as well. Might make a nice vacation spot, what do you think?”

Luke, of course, couldn’t reply, but he cheerily sent Obi-Wan his emotions.

“You’re right, this is a happy place,” Obi-Wan vocalized Luke’s feelings.

He was already quite strong in the Force, sharing his emotions and dreams with Obi-Wan. He’d be a delight to teach someday, certainly would have made every Master at the temple proud-

_Shut it in a box._ _Sink the stone to the bottom of the river. Burn all reminders._

Obi-Wan could afford to project his darkness around Luke.

“Let’s go check it out some more,” Obi-Wan said and walked deeper into the caves. They appeared t be fairly untouched by anyone and their stones echoed with stories of centuries past, speaking of great floods and peace.

Now, why would the Force want him to be here?

Obi-Wan sighed and leaned against one wall of the cave, resting his head on the cool walls. He closed his eyes only for a moment. He hadn’t actually attempted to meditate since he had decided to keep Luke. He couldn’t think of facing what had happened, not when he needed to be there for Luke and couldn’t afford to break down. But maybe he’d try here, sometime in the future. Not now.

He opened his eyes again and saw something flicker just a few steps away from him. Curious, Obi-Wan walked over to the niche in the wall. He expected it closer and found a little green stone, reflecting the light from the cave’s entrance. It wasn’t very big, but the one just above it was. Obi-Wan took out his lightsaber and used its end to hit against the stone until it broke off. It was rather pretty. Frowning, Obi-Wan walked out of the cave again to hold the stone up against the sunlight.

It flickered rather beautifully and it was clear. No flaws within the stone. He could probably sharpen it with the Force. He’d never used it to shape a crystal that wasn’t kyber, but the process couldn’t be any more difficult.

“How much do you think this is worth, Luke? Enough to buy you a crib?”

Luke was looking up at him with those beautiful and painfully familiar blue eyes. The stone Obi-Wan had found didn’t measure up against them, but it might still be worth something. He’d have to check the next time he stopped in the city. He wasn’t sure yet if this was really what the Force had sent him here for, but he should investigate it anyway.

_(Turned out that, when cut correctly, the stone was worth enough to provide a steady income. It wasn’t what the Force had sent Obi-Wan there for, he wouldn’t know until he’d discovered more of the caves where the Force sang as it did on Ilum.)_


	5. Chapter 5

Luke wanted to hold onto his father’s robes, feel the rough texture beneath his fingertips, and bury his face into the comforting scent of desert heat and dryness. But Luke wasn’t four anymore, but _fourteen_ and they weren’t on Tatooine but on an entirely different planet, in another system, days away from Tatooine. Luke had wanted to join the Rebellion for as long as he had known what it was, but now that they had left Tatooine and actually arrived at the Rebel base, Luke felt strangely homesick.

He missed their house and he missed his Aunt and Uncle and his little cousin and Biggs and all his friends and-

Luke closed his eyes for just a moment, not long enough that anybody could think it was strange, but it was all he needed to center himself. He could show no weakness, he was a Jedi. He’d make his father proud.

“Are you alright, Luke?” Papa asked him, looking down at him in worry.

Perhaps Luke hadn’t been able to hide his emotions as well as he thought. He was good at meditating, enjoyed it even. There was something exhilarating about simply disappearing in the Force.

“Yes,” Luke replied. “It’s just very busy here.”

Ben hummed in agreement and let his gaze wander over the many people stationed at the base. Luke didn’t think it would compare to what he was used to from the war against the Separatists, the hundreds and thousands of men that had been under his command, but it probably brought forth some memories.

“It’s really not a lot like Tatooine, is it?”

Ben smiled at him and Luke measured up enough courage to smile back. The world always felt a little lighter when it was just the two of them, the Force and its endless songs.

“No sand for one. That’s a bonus.”

Luke pulled a face and, almost predictably, Ben laughed and brushed his hand over Luke’s head, messing up his hair.

“ _Ben!_ ” Luke hissed, cheeks flushed. “I’m not a little kid anymore!”

It was strange to address his father by his name. Luke had never called him that really, but now the situation demanded it. He should get used to it.

“I know.” Ben’s eyes softened. “But you’ll always be my child.”

“Yes, yes…”

Luke saw that they attracted a lot of attention in the hanger with their bantering. Luke supposed that they were a little odd. There weren’t any kids of Luke’s age, or younger or older, running around. Only adults in either uniforms or some wildly thrown together getup. Most of them looked like the bounty hunters that passed through Tatooine really, only they didn’t feel as harsh in the Force. There was kindness and determination to these people. Openness too given how many species were present here. The Empire was famously human with only one or so alien officer if Luek remembered correctly. Ben had kept up with news about the Empire as best he could or was able to stomach. It couldn’t be easy reading about the ruin of everything he had stood for, the death and destruction his own apprentice wrecked in the galaxy.

Luke’s stomach turned.

He had known that his father was still out there, that he had fallen and been given a new name by his Master. Luke had even read about the horrors he committed for the Empire despite his Papa’s best efforts to shield him from that. Luke had just been too curious for his own good, wanting to know about the man his father had turned into.

He didn’t compare to kind and gentle Anakin Skywalker of Luke’s goodnight stories. Most of the time Luke wasn’t even if Ben thought of the two as the same, but didn’t see Luke as the son of the man he used to love and Vader as a completely different entity.

Ben certainly hadn’t wanted anybody to know of Luke’s existence in regard to Anakin Skywalker.

He’d been Luke Skywalker on Tatooine where it was safe and the name of an off-worlder would only draw more attention, but that child he had needed to leave behind.

So with Ben, _Obi-Wan Kenobi’s_ , return to the front, his new Padawan was to follow.

Luke Lars, Force-sensitive with some connection to the great High General of the Grand Army of the Republic.

_Jedi_.

They didn’t look all that Jedi-like in their current get-ups, wearing traveler’s clothes. They had even hidden their lightsaber beneath their robes. No, there was nothing really identifying them as Jedi, but people were still looking at Ben, pretending to be subtle when they were really not, at least not to Luke’s senses. Nobody had recognized Obi-Wan Kenobi on Tatooine, not that they had gone into the city as such, and really, who would think a Jedi sold jewelry in a little shop? Here though, despite the fourteen years of silence, people knew-

“Obi-Wan?”

Luke turned to the side, stepping out of his father’s shadow.

A young Togruta woman was looking at Ben in shock. Her face markings were white and slimmer than those his Papa had drawn into the sand all those years, but it didn’t surprise Luke. The Jedi in his stories had been a Padawan still, a child his age and only a little older. Of course she’d look different than Luke had ever imagined.

“Hello, Ahsoka,” Ben said and not even a second later, Ahsoka threw herself at Ben, pulling him into a hug.

“It really is you, Obi-Wan,” she said, her voice muffled as she had buried her face in his robes.

She was taller than Ben, Luke noticed. In the stories, Ben had always held a hand up near his shoulders or so when he described Ahsoka Tano and their many adventures. Not everything was as it had been in the stories.

“Force,” Ahsoka said and let go of Ben to look at him once more. “I can’t believe it.”

“I should say that,” Ben retorted. “You have grown up well. I’m glad to see you.”

“I’m happy to see you as well, where have you been all these years?”

“I-“ Ben stopped talking and took a slight step out of Ahsoka’s arms. He put his left hand on Luke’s back, an encouraging gesture, but Luke couldn’t draw any strength from it, he was much too nervous.

He had heard so much about Ahsoka, he thought he must be vibrating with energy. He wanted to know what she had been up to, what she had lived through, if she could teach him how to fight with two lightsabers since Ben refused to teach him.

“This is Luke,” Ben introduced him. “I’ve been watching over him.”

Something unidentifiable flashed over Ahsoka’s face as she looked him over, but it melted into a warm and kind smile, just the way Luke had always pictured her looking at him. He’d always wanted a sister and thought Ahsoka would be the best.

“It’s nice to meet you, Luke.”

Luke grinned back. “It’s nice to meet you as well! Papa told me so much-“ Luke stopped. “I mean- uh, Ben, _Obi-Wan_ told me so much about you!”

Luke grimaced. Great, his first talk with a real Rebel, with another Jedi, and he had already messed it all up. He just hoped nobody had heard. They had been supposed to lie to keep Luke safe. If somebody had overheard their conversation and oh, Force! They were in the middle of the hangers-

“I have been raising Luke since he was a newborn,” Ben explained. He squeezed Luke’s shoulder, sent a silent _it’s alright, don’t worry, everything is fine,_ over their bond before he continued speaking. “He is my Padawan – and he is my son.”

This was a loud declaration. So they were going to make adjustments to Luke’s cover. This would still work.

“Understood,” Ahsoka said easily. “Well, then, little sunshine, welcome to the Alliance.”

_Welcome home,_ she did not say, but regardless, it was what Luke heard loud and clearly in his mind.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apparently never posted this? whoops

Luke had started babbling a few weeks ago. Obi-Wan was relieved to see that the endless hours of talking at him, narrating what he was doing and telling him the stories Obi-Wan had been told in the creche were paying off.

Seven months since Obi-Wan’s world broke apart, drowned in a darkness so cold it burned and Obi-Wan had yet to actually interact with other people. He talked when he had to go to the markets to buy something for Luke or himself, but other than that Luke was the new center of his world. The toddler’s health and happiness were Obi-Wan’s priority, all he could think about at times, so much that he worried how deep he’d dare to fall.

So far Luke only strung random syllables together, not distinctly of one language more than another. Obi-Wan tried to speak Basic or Huttese with him, but sometimes he _slipped_ , only knowing how to express himself in the language he had spoken since his childhood. It was pathetic how corroded the silver-tongue of the Negotiator had become.

“Ta!” Luke exclaimed cheerfully as he shook his toy. “Ba!”

Obi-Wan smiled at his charge and gently ran his fingers through Luke’s soft golden locks. “Yes, your toy is very impressive.”

“Ba,” Luke said again. “Baba, ta!”

He shook his toy again, holding it up to Obi-Wan. “Baba!”

When Obi-Wan accepted the toy, Luke beamed at him. “Baba.”

“Yes, Baba has got your toy,” Obi-Wan said.

And froze.

Luke noticed the shift in Obi-Wan’s demeanor immediately. He was too attuned to Obi-Wan, the way the Force flowed and ebbed around them and before Obi-Wan could get his emotions under control again, Luke’s face scrunched up and he began to cry.

“Oh, darling, don’t cry, sssh, I’m here,” Obi-Wan rambled as he scooped Luke up into his arms.

The crying toddler clung to Obi-Wan’s chest, sobbing inconsolably all the tears Obi-wan couldn’t shed.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan apologized. Speaking had suddenly become so exhausting, the words being stuck in his throat. “Baba- Baba is here. Shh, all will be well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway isn't it great when you realize you are your son's father?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear what you think!  
> Come find me on [Tumblr!](https://jasontoddiefor.tumblr.com/)


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